22.7.06

Disease is growing, it's epidemic/I'm scared that there ain't a cure

Well, the verdict is in. Sort of. The testing on Wednesday was not sufficiently conclusive to make any diagnosis. So I go back in on Monday for another round. However, there was one conclusion established that day: Whatever it is that I have has made my mind split in two; I don't perceive reality 'the way it is'--the quotes because I feel that my reality is how things are. But given the fact that I've become increasingly aware that the way the world manifests in my mind is extremely atypical, in a bad way. But I digress. My mind no longer functions as a whole, and without treatment, it will only get worse. Which is bad.

I just want to find out whatever it is that I have. Probably something unpleasant. I'm pretty sure it's not schizophrenia, but considering the fact that I've started hallucinating on occasion for about a week and a half now, you never really know. Which is also bad.

On the bright side, I got contacts! I can see! I'm so proud of myself, too--it takes me less than 10 minutes to put them in and/or take them out, which I like to think is good for someone who's only had them for 2 days. Hooray for one less complication in my life.

2 comments:

Spiritual Recovery said...

I just want to find out whatever it is that I have. Probably something unpleasant. I'm pretty sure it's not schizophrenia, but considering the fact that I've started hallucinating on occasion for about a week and a half now, you never really know. Which is also bad.

Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe a bit of both. Have you read the book, The Divided Self by R.D. Laing? I have a hunch you might find some personal insights for yourself within its pages.

Mikey said...

Contacts are a wonder invention, aren't they? :)