22.1.06

I could not/Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither/Living nor dead, and I knew nothing

Thgil (Andrew), you'll probably never read this, but if you do, thank you for your kindness last night. You went out of your way to reassure me that, contrary to personal opinion, I am not a horrid person or a miserable failure. I do not take your words for granted.

Michelle, thank you for putting off sleeping last night/this morning to tell me that I'm not screwed up beyond repair, and that the blame does not fall on me. You convinced me that I am worth more, deserve better; now I need to find the strength inside to demand it from others.

Whitney, thank you for loving me and caring about my well-being. You believe that I am a priceless treasure, and while I may disagree with that statement, your conviction has led me to believe that, at the very least, I deserve better than I have received.


And yet, despite the comfort and assurance received, I still am broken and hurting. I would give nearly anything to be numb; or better yet, to have answers.

Anybody feel like confronting for me? I don't have the strength to survive it...

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