12.7.05

...Round the decay/Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare/The lone and level sands stretch far away

I almost cried today. Not just a quiet little tear, either. I just wanted to sit and let my frustrations pour out of me, carried by a silent stream of tears. I wouldn't, though. I have such a hard time letting myself cry; on the rare occasion that I do cry, it's usually late, I'm tired, and a friend is going through a hard time, and Empathy rears its ugly yet compassionate head and brings forth tears of mourning for that person's pain. Apart from that, you can pretty much forget it.

Question: Am I unknowingly carrying around a sign that states, in big, bright, unmistakeable words, "Please Stand Me Up"? Because 7 times in 2 and 1/2 weeks is a bit much. Once or twice, that's fine, I can handle that. But I'd really like to know what I'm doing that causes it with such frequency. Nobody believes that the world is out to get me until stuff like this happens. Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me.

I'm tired. I want to sleep. But, quick note of thanks to Dan, because he put up with my crabby, petulant, whiny self this evening.

1 comment:

Erin said...

Ozymandius, by Percy Byshe Shelley?

It's probably not enough in itself to say, but I sincerely hope life gets better, however it may be.