4.9.08

Don't try to fix me/I'm not broken

So apparently I have readers all over Europe, which is cool. I have this happy little people-counter program on my blog and it tells me how many people read this each day, and (roughly) where those people live. Not in a stalkery way, just in a, "oh, I have 4 readers in (insert country here) and 12 in (insert state here)." It's rather nifty.
I saw my doc today for like 5 minutes and she told me to STOP TAKING THE REMERON. The whole mania-inducement thing is very very bad. So now, hopefully, the nightmares and headaches will stop, too. Yes, I had two more nightmares last night, both horrifying in very different ways. I'm starting to fear falling asleep. My session with my therapist, on the other hand, was really good. I finally figured out exactly why I tend to bail out on people, which means that now I (and my therapist) can start working on not doing it. Hooray for some good news, right?
I bought even more books today. I've been in town for weeks now, without going anywhere except work and the clinic, so it was good to just get out and drive. A couple books I've been meaning to pick up were available in hardcover at paperback prices, so I picked those up, plus the two I was meaning to pick up in the first place. Plus a couple for my mom, but she's reimbursing me for those, so technically I didn't spend anywhere near the amount the receipt says I spent. *sighs* Stupid mania. One of my personal manic symptoms is that I start spending money like it's going out of style, which is bad, because I need money for other things, like bills. It should fade in, at most, a week's time. I hope.
Oh! More good news. Usually, after I do my 4 overnights in a row (starting tonight, coincidentally enough), I have 2 morning shifts and then another overnight. However, one of the other overnight people is taking some vacation time, and they needed someone to fill the two overnights that correspond with my morning shifts. My boss asked me if I could fill one of those, and in return she'd take me off BOTH morning shifts. Of course I agreed, since even though I'm losing a shift I'm actually spending 3 more hours at work and therefore making more money, AND I'm getting a day off. I only hope she remembers to take me off the schedule this time. Last time I agreed to work a different shift, I was promised a certain day off and didn't get it. Oh, well. Here's hoping.


p.s. Word of the (whatever, since I doubt I'll remember to do it daily): recidivist

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