I'm damaged at best/Like you've already figured out

I made my mom cry awhile ago. I was walking by, and she wanted to know if I was all right. The conversation went something like this:
Mom: Are you okay?
Me: Not really.
Mom: What's wrong?
Me: The usual, I guess.
Mom: Do you feel guilty about something, or what? (A/N: no idea where that question came from)
Me (looking surprised): Of course. I always feel guilty.
Mom (also looking surprised): About what?
Me: That I exist.

Her jaw dropped a little, and I turned around and walked away. As I left I could hear her start to cry. All I could think, though, was Good God, woman. If you haven't figured that out by now, there's no talking to you. I know, I know, I'm a heartless bitch. Get over it.

Work was awful last night. Every month or two my bosses do a walk-through of the building, inspecting the general cleanliness and whatnot. Well, I do a pretty good job maintaining a high level of clean, but I was off for a week...and the two people who worked during my week off, didn't. Work, I mean. They had quite obviously done NOTHING whatsoever. So instead of spending my night leisurely going from room to room, idly maintaining said high level of clean, I was on my (metaphorical) hands and knees scrubbing everything in sight. Worst part? I didn't finish. It will take at least one more night, if not two, to fix the mess they made. So I was really angry to start with. Then I found out that this morning we were going to be two staff short--again. So I had to get all four of my guys up and out the door by myself--again. So I just turned my frustrated energy into the whole morning routine, and I got everybody done 15 minutes earlier than usual--that's 'usual' with two people, not alone. So, go me.
And somewhere in all of that my headache finally went away, though I'm afraid it might come back.

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