Give me strength to face the truth/The doubt within my soul

So, on to the very special blogging entry. Since most of these recent entries have been entirely serious in nature, I've decided to continue in that vein, but for once this entry isn't about me. It's about a universal argument (and one that, personally, I think is rather stupid)--the one about pirates vs. ninjas. Both of whom are, or at least should be, vs. hobos.
Pirates have advantages. Close bonds with shipmates, lots of gold to purchase lots of weapons, a penchant for violence. The problem with pirates is that not only do you know they're there, but you need a whole shipload of them for them to be effective.
Ninjas, on the other hand, are quiet, solitary, and wear those nifty black outfits that are appropriate for every occasion. If a ninja does his job right, you never know he's there. But that's the problem. You don't know if it was, in fact, a ninja, or some freak Act of God, as the insurance people call it.
Which brings me to the third group, hobos. I know little to nothing about them, except that they ride rails, make something called hobo stew, and while solitary, can work together in groups to avoid authority figures. Which gives them a huge advantage over both ninjas and pirates. After all, they've got reliable transportation (pirates don't, as they never know when someone else will be sinking their ship), food (ever hear of ninja soup? Pirate pizza? Didn't think so), and can work singly or in groups. Granted, they're not known for pillage, plunder, or quiet murder, but still. I think the advantage in adaptability is clearly theirs. Plus, they have a parade every year somewhere in Iowa. I know this to be true, for M., that incorruptible font of knowledge, has told me so. She's been there.
In conclusion: probably nobody would win. There'd be dozens of dead pirates, a couple of dead ninjas, and five or 10 dead hobos to deal with/clean up. Poor hobos.