If I cannot save her spirit/Dad says I should break her spine

So tomorrow will be a very special blogging entry, because a very dear friend of mine suggested the topic. Be prepared for something very...unusual.
By the way, don't ever put lavender in cookies, cuz that's gross. REALLY gross.
So once again I was lying in bed, wide awake, thinking about why I can't fall asleep for THE FIFTH NIGHT IN A ROW, and I realised that I envy other people in the relationships they have with their siblings. I thought I'd write a semi-open letter to my brother (which I know he'll never read) because this is the only way I can think of to finally vent my frustration.
Dear Sam,
I've been thinking about this quite a bit now, and I've come to realise that we are not, nor have we ever been, friends. Siblings, yes. Friends, no.
Why is this? Well, I've never felt entirely comfortable around you, seeing as how you're everything I've wanted to be and become, and you see me as nothing but disturbed (note to other readers: this is not an assumption, it's a direct quote from him). The few occasions I've tried to confide in you, you either pick a fight for your own stupid amusement or you start yelling at me in a seriously misguided attempt to fix me. Quit preaching at me and just see me as I am.
Come find me when you're willing to get past your stupid little hang-ups about my issues. We'll talk then.
~S.